Bonjour Big Spender!

Bonjour.

Moi, I'm Geeta Ariani and a big money spender.

In fact, I'm still not sure yet whether or not I am a truly big spender, but my expenditure exceeds my income every month which my dad has no idea about this. My budget balance has been in deficit since I entered college -- since I started having this passion for clothes and cosmetics. O.M.G. I know!

Yeah, call me shopaholic. Or just a girl who can't help buying stuff before leaving stores with full hearts and shining eyes, but with great regret after reaching home and checking the receipts to find out how much she's just spent. She will mostly end up saying, "Am I f**king kidding myself? 110 ringgits for a pair of peep-toe shoes which I'm not even sure to wear???"

Yes, it sounds so me. When I was in school, I used to do shopping in bookstores, not in clothes stores -- I was a bookworm. Well, although I usually did hang out in shopping malls with my clique, I didn't suddenly appear at home with shopping bags, filled with a pair of shoes, a tee, a pair of skinny jeans, a headband, a lipstick, an eyeliner or maybe snacks from Carrefour which I wouldn't even bother to eat. I am pretty much aware of changes in people's lives, but changing into a big spender is really uncool and an exception. I've tried to cut down on my monthly expenditure by listing the things on which I've spent money. However, it doesn't seem to work for me.

Women and shopping. It's just part of our nature to shop. There's a saying: when we're up, we shop, when we're down, we shop even more. And that's pretty much true. Every time I have a problem or feel depressed, I tend to shop and in the meantime my mood gets uplifted again. There's nothing more remedial than retail therapy (lolz). It's just wow. You will even forget what's just happened to you before tracing the sweet smell of stores. But it turns out to be a bigger problem when you find out about the huge expenditure of money - and it's your dad's money you've just spent. Don't you feel guilty about having used your dad's money with no concern whatsoever as he has to work hard and earn so that his family can live on?

It earns me feelings of guilt. I don't know how to change my life through better money management by cutting spending waste and starting to save. I tried to work part-time and wished I'd have been more aware of how hard it is to earn money. But I keep thinking like a pair of long pants for RM65 after 50% discount is very reasonable; furthermore, it's from SEED which is too hard to pass over and I need those pants for my first day at work. Also, I will get paid next month, so I can use the money to cover it. Or maybe, it's ok to have dinner in a fancy restaurant and pay RM30 for seafood spaghetti and light coke, including government tax and service charge; well, I can cook instant noodles for dinner tomorrow, right?

OH MY GAWD, help me!